Last Friday night I cut off all my hair. This is not an exaggeration, I went from having hair that hit nearish the middle of my back to a super short pixie cut. The reaction amongst my friends has been pretty standard, people are surprised, then compliment the cut, and then they ask what made me do it.
It’s a good question, for people who have only known me for 3 years or so. For everyone else, it likely doesn’t come as a shock that I chopped off so much hair. You see, when I was 14 I started cutting my hair short. It stayed like that until I decided in September 2006 that it was time to start fresh and make a legitimate attempt at growing out my hair. So I shaved my head. Really.

It wasn’t exactly a bad look, but it wasn’t for me, long term. I shaved my head with a goal in mind – to grow mermaid hair. So, for nearly 4 years I let my hair grow. I threw away my razor for short haircuts and started booking appointments at salons.
My hair grew and people liked it. I even liked it. But, I have to tell you, all that long hair that I’d worked so long to grow often got pulled back, and most of the time I looked something like this:

And really, what’s the point of long hair when it’s always up? The longer it got, the more annoying I found it. Drains were always clogging; hair would get stuck all over me in the shower and I could never get it off; long strands were constantly ending up in my ink and then on my type, messing up my prints; it’d get stuck in the strap of my messenger bag; you get the point.
As preparation for the Art Star Craft Bazaar chugged along, I got stressed, and I knew I had to do something drastic. The only surefire cure for my deadline induced stress has always been a self haircut, so I grabbed my scissors and went to town. First I trimmed it to my shoulders, but that wasn’t enough. The next day I cut it to my chin. That satisfied me for about a week, but the night before ASCB I went all the way.

It was strange at first, and I felt an instant twinge of regret, but I also felt a really satisfying feeling of being “myself” again. And this is what I was trying to get at with this whole post when I started. If you’ve made it this far, thank you! If not, I understand. Anyway, the point is this: So many people in my the current version of my life didn’t know that girl in this last photo. They still know ME, sure, but only to an extent. As much as I enjoyed my stint with long hair, I’m just a short-haired girl at heart. I always felt a little bit like I was pretending, like I was wearing a wig, when my hair was long. I always felt better when it was pulled up. I always felt more like me.

Today I chopped my hair a little more. It’s what I do when my hair is short, constantly tweak the cut – because I can do it myself. I like that it’s something I can control in my life, that I can maintain and manage without anyone else’s assistance. And yea, this is a really long post about something as simple as a haircut, but guess what? I don’t care.