108 days. Wow. It’s been quite the roller coaster ride and, true to form, I’ve been really bipolar about my feelings about unemployment. For now {and for the last month +} it’s a really fantastic experience and I’m loving every second of it. The downside of this has been my slacking. Have you noticed that [...]

Today was truly the most productive day I’ve had in weeks. I feel like the world has opened up to me again and I am ready and willing to take all kinds of shit on. It’s a good feeling. I started my day with a trip to see Dr. Strong and discuss my medication. We [...]

I’ve been really busy visiting family and spending time with friends. I’ve been spending a lot of my time trying to figure out what it is I want to be doing too. These are the things, in list form: Driving across the country with my little sister. Seeing my family on a more regular basis. [...]

I’ve been alternately very social and very introspective these last few days, opting to write more in my paper notebook than on the internet for public consumption. My adventures in finding a therapist have been fantastic, and I think I’ve settled on seeing what the Women’s Therapy Center matches me up with. My month of [...]

Wow. 52 days. That’s a long time! Today I worked! You have no idea how rewarding it felt to stand in Sue of Giant Dwarf‘s studio and cut circles out of felt for three hours today. I know it isn’t much, but it kept me busy and I liked that. It is just what I [...]

Joan Didion’s collected nonfiction is titled We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live. This phrase is constantly floating around in my brain, coloring my world. I feel like I exist in an alternate reality, in my head, where the stories I create – both real and imagined – are an integral part of my [...]

It’s been a great week. I know this has nothing to do with the Zoloft, but it is sort of a relief to know that I’m ready to take action and stop dwelling on my misery. I’m letting go of worry and choosing action. I’m gaining a lot of confidence in myself. I’ve done a [...]

Today is day 36, but right now I want to talk about yesterday. A few days back I talked about how bad my anxiety has been lately and how I was planning to see my doctor. Well, I saw my doctor yesterday and it was an interesting experience. I’ve been seeing Dr. Strong for a [...]

After all the whining I did the other day it’s amazing that managed to have a good day today, but I guess that’s just the way it goes. My nightmares are still persistent and my tummy aches are showing no sign of stopping {I’m nursing one right now} but I put that all behind me [...]

Lately I’ve been having nightmares. I’ve been having tummy aches. I’ve been having nightmares and tummy aches and wrestling with serious feelings of guilt and frustration and despair. In the nightmares I am trying desperately to get somewhere or people are committing suicide or there is just a constant overwhelming feeling of impending dread. I [...]